TopGearFans论坛英文时间轴 CM翻译，六级刚过，如有错误请多包涵 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
谢谢大家，非常感谢 Thanks, everybody, thank you.
大家晚上好 Hello, good evening.
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
我们回来啦！ We're back!
我们回归了 We have returned.
我们带着全新一季回归了，势如破竹 We've returned with an all-new series, and it is a cracker.
我们对第七代高尔夫做了试驾 We have got a review of the Mk7 Volkswagen Golf,
我们也做了0.9升Dacia Sandero做了长测 we've an extended report of the 900cc Dacia Sandero,
James做的那项测试，时间稍微有点长 James has done that. It's very long.
我们还做了一次自行车的测试 We've a piece on bicycles, we've something on the stresses
还有压力重重的长途卡车驾驶 of long-distance lorry driving...
剩下的部分，就是以下这些了 ..and the rest of it sort of looks like this.
人们应该叫这辆车“寡妇制造者” They should have called this the Widowmaker!
快跑啊，Alfa Come on, little Alfa.
我们必须打败他 We have to beat him.
你想来场比赛？那我就跟你玩玩 You want a race? I'll give you a race!
老天，我的鸽子飞走了 Oh, God. My doves have escaped.
嗷~~~ Arrrrrgh!
刚刚把我的座椅加热调到了一档 Just have my heated seat set to the first position.
早上好，抱歉借过下 Morning. Sorry.
这个城镇的名字叫…… The town in question is called...
切尔诺贝利 Chernobyl.
霍！蛤-蛤-蛤！ Whoa! Ha-ha-ha!
快跑啊！ Goooahhh!
现在是BBC2台晚间新闻时间 'Newsnight now, on BBC TWO...'
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
以上所有都会呈现给大家 All that is to come.
不过首先，在办公室里我们又争吵了一番 But first, there has been, I'm afraid, a bit of a row in the office.
我们都认为现在的小钢炮都不错 You see, we think that the current crop of hot hatchbacks are very good,
不过我们却认为过去八九十年代的小钢炮 however, we say they're not as good as the hot hatchbacks
比现在的还要好 you could buy in the '80s or the '90s.
-难道不是么 -没错，不过咱们年轻的制片人 Well, they're not, are they? No, exactly, but our producers, who are very young
把小内内暴露在 and wander around with the top of their underpants
他们穿的裤子外面的那位 showing at the back of their trousers,
说我们在瞎扯淡 say that we are talking nonsense.
没错，所以为了解决分歧，他们让俺们 Yeah, so, to sort it all out, they told us to go and buy
去买三辆老款小钢炮，与此同时 three old hot hatches, whilst they would devise
他们将用一系列挑战羞辱俺们 a series of humiliating challenges.
Hmm! Hmm! LAUGHTER
我们的集合地就在Droitwich的一个停车场 The meeting point was a car park in Droitwich,
而且我是第一个到的 and I was the first to arrive.
这是一辆高尔夫GTI This is a Volkswagen Golf GTI -
小钢炮界的领袖，标杆和鼻祖 the standard-bearer, the benchmark, the daddy...
再好好想想，现款GTI会花掉你两万七千英镑 And think about it - a modern-day GTI would cost you ￡27,000.
这个只要八百英镑。八百块买了个GTI！！！ This was just 800 quid. I mean, 800 quid! For a Golf GTI!
而且这车只跑了17万2千英里，只有25年车龄，简直是…… It's only done 172,000 miles, and at just 25 years old it's...
哟，James来了 Oh, there's James!
我的天，手刹急停- - 女士们先生们，有请James粉墨登场 Oh, God. That was a handbrake turn, right there, ladies and gentlemen.
哟 Yo!
福特XR2！ XR2!
其实是个XR2i，16气门版本 XR2i, 16 valve.
-16气门 -没错 16 valve? Oh, yes.
来瞧瞧，我买了8气门版本第二代高尔夫 See, I've gone for the coveted Mk2 eight-valve model.
-8气门？ -木有错，8气门 Eight valve? Eight valve.
怎么了？ What?
哦，那些喜剧效果的贴纸 Oh, the comedy stickers.
事情是这样的，你应该记住 The thing is, James, what you have to remember is,
当你看着一辆车的时候 you know when you look at a car,
你能看出他之前是怎样被对待的？什么样的人开的它？ how has it been treated? Who's owned it?
我看着这些贴纸 I looked at these stickers,
和这些非原厂的铝合金轮毂 the non-standard alloy wheels,
还有我怀疑这车被降低了 and I suspect this has been slammed.
这车看上去确实被降低了 It does look like it's been slammed. It's been lowered.
所有这些加在一起 So you add those things together,
我推论这车前车主是个……教区教士？ and I've deduced it was probably owned by...a parish priest?
可能是June Whitfield（英国女演员，1925年生） 你说这个很有趣 June Whitfield, probably. It's funny you should say that,
因为当我买车的时候我用了一个类似的方法 because I employ a similar tactic when I'm buying a car, so I looked
所以当我看着这些高规格的改装件 at things like - it has very high-specification after-market
-刹车盘 -是么 -意味着前车主 brake pads. Has it? Which means it was somebody
相对速度更注重安全性。另外还有 interested in safety, not speed. Yes. And also,
他让挂牵引钩的地方暴露着 they've done things like left the jacking point exposed,
所以你在隔离墩换轮胎暴露在危险之中的时间 so you spend less time exposed to danger if you have to change
就被大大减小了 your wheel on the hard shoulder. Exactly.
-800英镑 -750英镑 800 quid. 750 quid.
你看，咱俩多聪明，多睿智~ You see, we've been clever, we have been wise.
不幸的是，我们的谈话被打断了 Sadly, our discussion was curtailed,
因为小哈的大驾光临 because Hammond then arrived.
而且他简直是笨到家了 And he hadn't been wise at all.
JEREMY LAUGHS
这玩意儿是…… Is that...?
等会儿先！ No. No. No.
Nova SRi。多有意思是不是哈？我爱死这一天了 Nova SRi. No. This is fun, isn't it? I'm loving my day so far.
让我好好跟你说说这车。1.4升多点燃油喷射引擎 Let me talk you through it - 1.4-litre multi-point fuel injection,
82马力。嗯哼 82 brake horsepower. Uh-huh.
这车特别轻，特别敏捷还特别快 This is light, and nippy and quick.
-这才是这个大喜之日的睿智之选是不是？ -对，没错 This was the clever choice in its day. Was it? Yeah. It was.
Hammond……我喜欢……小哈×4 Hammond... I love... Hammond, Hammond, Hammond, Hammond.
啥事？ 这车主耗费在车顶上的时间比在轮子上的时间的多多了 Yeah? This has spent more time on its roof than it has on its wheels.
所有的Nova都是被把车翻过来的小混混开的 All Novas are driven by yobbos who turn them over.
我必须承认。不仅是因为这不配套的车门 I must admit... Because it's not just this door that doesn't match.
那个门是白色，也不是原装的 That one was white.
我感觉在Essex没有一个阴沟这车没去过的 I don't think there's a ditch in Essex that this hasn't visited.
不过还能跑啊，这车可是梦寐以求的好车，是不是？ But it's still working. These are very desirable. Are they?
-你这车多少钱？ -700英镑 How much was it? 700 quid.
而且不是任何人都有必要买一辆Nova Not that anyone ever actually had to buy a Vauxhall Nova -
偷一辆可能更容易 it was much easier to steal one.
如果你是个偷车贼，下面这段你可别看 Nobody's to watch this if you're a car thief. Don't watch this.
-你拿着钥匙 -好我拿着钥匙 You have the keys. I have the keys.
我现在要把双闪警示灯的开关拿下来 I'm going to remove the hazard warning light switch, OK?
没错，然后我把它上下颠倒再插进去 Yep. I'm now going to pop it back in again, upside down.
稍等一会儿，整车就通电啦 And lo and behold, the ignition comes on.
-现在的问题就是…… -推一把呗 Now it's just a question of, um... Bump-start.
走咯 Go!
ENGINE STARTS
车就这么启动了~ And there we are.
可是钥匙还在我这里- - And I've got the key!
当我完成了我的演示之后 'As I was finishing my demonstration,
我收到了一条短信 'I received a message.'
手机铃响 MOBILE BLEEPS
我收到了一条短信 是制片人发来的是不是？ I've got a text. Oh, it's from the producers. Eh?
没错，这就是我们的第一项挑战了 Yeah, it's the first of the challenges.
怎么没有那个金色信封了？ What happened to the gold envelope?
他是个小青年儿 He's a teenager.
发短信就相当于用笔写字了 That would mean using a pen.
哦，他也不会看见的。无论如何…… Oh, he wouldn't have seen one of those. No, he wouldn't. Anyway...
-等会儿，我不知道这个写了什么 -因为你得戴个眼镜？ Hang on. I don't know what it says. Because you need your glasses?
-老天啊 -我老了好不好？！ Oh, dear. I'm old!
上面说，买小钢炮的主要原因就是速度 It says, "The main reason for buying a hot hatchback is speed.
所以你们要前去Shelsley沃尔什爬坡赛比一场 "You will therefore do a performance test at the Shelsley Walsh Hill Climb
用你们的那些船（应该是shit，理解成垃圾就好） "in your crocks of ship."
船？ Ship?
没错就是船。我怀疑是被手机的自动拼写改正给改了 Ship. I think there's been some auto-correction. Yes.
没错。出发吧 Right... Soldier on.
我勒个去 Oh, bloody hell.
你的警报器响了？ Have you got an alarm?
1989年，那时候车上没有报警器 1989? They didn't have alarms, so everybody put after-market alarms
每个人都在他们车上装了一个，而且从来都不正常工作 on them, which don't work. Ever.
老天啊，别叫唤了 Oh, shut up!
我本想嘲笑下他俩和他们的的警报器 I'd like to be laughing about them and their alarms,
不过我不禁注意到一些事情 but I've just spotted something which is...
那啥，早在80年代什么东西都会被偷 Well, everything got stolen in the '80s,
所以人们在玻璃和尾门上标记上注册号 so they'd engrave the reg number on the glass, and on the tailgate,
我却发现这里的注册号 I can't help but notice that this registration number
和这里的注册号根本不是一回事 isn't the same as this registration number,
也就是说，这个尾门不是原车的尾门 which means it's not the original tailgate.
我本以为这尾门是整辆车唯一一个原厂件来着 I thought that was the only original panel on it.
当在去爬坡赛的路上 On the drive to the Hill Climb,
我们有机会好好熟悉下我们的座驾 we have the chance to get acquainted with our cars.
哦，我爱我的小Nova。这车只关乎简洁，轻量 Oh, I love my little Nova. It's all about simplicity, lightness.
一切你不需要的东西这里全都没有 This has nothing on it that you don't need.
车外后视镜，手动的；车窗，手动的 Door mirrors, manual. Windows, manual.
副驾驶席甚至都没有车窗摇杆 There isn't even a window winder on the passenger side,
因为它掉了。这得有多简洁？ because it's dropped off. How simple and light is that?
自从我们上一季结束，诚信做人已经成为了我的传统 Since we're alone, viewers, and it's traditional for me to be honest
不过在现在，实话说，我承认这车感觉有些憔悴了 at this point, I will say that the car feels a little careworn.
驾驶座椅闻上去很奇怪，油量表一直没有工作过 The driver's seat smells funny, the fuel gauge doesn't work
温度计指针也是如此 all the time, and neither does the temperature gauge.
收音机的声音只能从一个扬声器传出来 The radio only comes out of one speaker.
离合器在颤抖，方向盘也在抖动 The clutch judders. The wheels wobble.
而且到处都是异响 There are a lot of knocks and rattles.
真是让人惊讶，因为这车只跑了23000英里 Amazing, really, because it's only done 23,000 miles.
让我坐下系统检查保证所有部件都在正常工作 Let me do a systems check and make sure all the equipment is working.
后车窗热起来，木有错 Heated rear window, yep.
烟灰缸也没问题 Ashtray, yep.
很好，检查完成 Good, that's that done.
切三档 Third gear.
CAR GROANS
这加速度快把我的脸撕裂了！ That G-force is nearly tearing my face off!
当初80年代的我们得有多勇敢 We were so brave in the '80s.
我们勇敢而且健壮，因为那时候没有助力转向 We were brave and we were strong, because we had no power steering.
我们不用去健身房锻炼，出去开车跑一圈就够 We didn't go to a gym - we just went for a drive.
这已经足够让我们汗流浃背了 That would build up a sweat.
数英里无助力转向的路程过后…… Many power-steering-less miles later...
我勒个去，我都丑出孜然味儿了…… God, I stink.
我们抵达了可怕的Shelsley沃尔什爬坡赛 ..we arrived at the terrifying Shelsley Walsh Hill Climb.
德国人有牛背，美国人有派克峰，我们英国佬有这地方 Germany has the Nurburgring, America has Pikes Peak - we have this.
这是一条半英里多长的赛道，而且在恐怖的 It's more than half a mile long, and at the bottom of this fearsome
带状泊油路的底端，我们被告诉更多有关本次挑战的细节 ribbon of tarmac, we were given more details of our challenge.
MOBILE BLEEPS
一辆现款的Seat Ibiza Cupre "A modern Seat Ibiza Cupre
将会开上爬坡赛道 "will now go up the Hill Climb course,
然后你们必须打败它的时间 "then you must try to beat its time."
-Seat Cupre？-没错 -那车很快不是么？ Seat Cupre? Yeah. That's fast, is it?
等会儿，那辆Seat是谁开？ Hang on, who's going to be driving the Seat?
-不是the Stig吧？ -不，不，不是the Stig开。 It's not the Stig, is it? No. No, it's not the Stig.
是the Stig的未成年表亲 It's the Stig's teenage cousin.
-看看这家伙的尺寸！ -我知道，这都有鲸鱼那么大了 Look at the size of it! I know. It's a whale.
不如试试开着那个谷仓上山去了。 Might as well try and drive up there in that barn.
用传统的爬坡赛木楔抵住Seat就位 With the traditional Hill Climb chock holding the Seat in place,
未成年Stig准备出发了 Teenage Stig was ready for the off.
出发！ Go!
这场面太无聊了 What a dreary spectacle.
这车没有那种很好的小钢炮拥有的敏捷性，轻量化 Doesn't have that nimble, light,
紧凑感和疯狂的感觉。 tight, frenzied feel of a proper hot hatch.
哎呦喂 Ohh...
the Stig未成年表亲用时40.50秒 OVER RADIO: 'The Stig's teenage cousin did it in 40.50.'
啥玩儿？0.6英里用这么长时间？我用一半时间就够 What, to do 0.6 of a mile? I shall halve it.
由于高尔夫马力最大，我们决定让它先上 As the Golf had the most power, we agreed it should go first.
等会儿，我先关上车窗 Hold on, I'm just going to shut my window.
嗞~~~ HE IMITATES BUZZING
好吧 There it is.
三，二，一 Three, two, one.
各种轮胎空转。快看这已经够快了 That was all wheel-spin. That's already quicker, look at that.
松离合切二档。有一只野鸡！ Double declutch into second. A pheasant!
霍，好险 Ooh! That was close.
耶 Yeah!
112匹最好的德国马力把我推向山顶 112 of the finest German horsepower hurling me up this hill.
60迈撞线 60mph as we cross the line.
嗷嗷 Uhh-uhh!
下一个是James上，开着它的XR2 Next it was James' turn, in the XR2.
三，二，一，走你！ Three, two, one, go!
你个老东西！ You bastard!
多好的起步 Nice start(!)
速度上来之后，XR2二十年的转向系统自成一派 At speed, the XR2's 20-year-old steering really came into its own.
我了个天 Oh, God.
-他买了只狗 -没错，他买了只可怕的狗 He's bought a dog. He has bought an appalling dog.
喔 Whoa.
简直是太可怕了 This is terrible.
更让人担心的是，回来的路上一位元帅还给了我 More worryingly, on the way back down, a marshal handed me back
我的车的一部分 some of my car.
这很明显是个螺栓 That is a bolt, obviously.
不过是用来干啥的呢？ But for what?
就在我沉思与此的时候 As I pondered on that,
Jeremy正在为Hammond的Nova布置下比赛装饰 Jeremy prepared the course for Hammond's Nova.
Hammond。我从没见过人和这辆车如此般配 Hammond. I have never seen a man suit a car more than that.
3，2，1！ Three, two, one!
啊哈哈 Ah-ha-ha!
轮胎有些空转 That's some wheel-spin.
有些人看上去像他们的狗 There are some people who look like their dogs. There are one or two
-一两个人看上去像他们的车 -小Nova的车主们 people who look like their cars, and, yeah... Little... Nova drivers.
现在拼尽全力吧！快跑，放开所有动力 Everything, now. Come on, unleash the lot.
撞线咯 Across the line!
现在返程吧 And now, back down!
爽爆了 Oh, yeah.
TYRES SCREECH
SMASHING
BIRDS' WINGS FLAPPING
可以猜到，Hammond翻车了 Predictably, Hammond had binned it.
哦，我的天，不是吧！ Oh, my God. No!
你他娘的怎么开进去的？ How the hell did you get it there?
好吧，我开到这里，然后……等会儿…… Well, I was coming down here, and... Oh, hang on, it's...
你把车摆正了 You have righted it. You have righted it.
你看，他现在多高兴，因为你把车种在了这里…… Look, he's actually beaming because you stuffed your...
没错，你可以告诉你的小伙伴们是不是？在沟里 Well, you can tell your mates, can't you? In the ditch.
而且已经整整翻了一圈了 And it's a complete roll now.
因为这是80年代是事情——你把车放在沟里 Cos this was the thing in the '80s - you put your car in a ditch,
然后你真就这么做了，然后你觉得很搞笑 and you did, and you found it funny.
你有没有意识到如果Constable （John Constable，英国十九世纪画家）活到现在 Do you realise if Constable had lived today, he would have
他会根据这些画一幅画。这幅画会被叫做HEY, WAYNE painted that. It would have been called the HEY, WAYNE.
太对了 Very good.
当元帅挪开了Nova之后，我们得到了比赛成绩 As the marshals recovered the Nova, we were given the results.
the Stig多快？40……40.5秒？没错，我是…… What was the Stig? 40... 40.5. Right. I was...
47.4秒 ..47.4.
May，意料之内，50.4秒 May, perhaps not surprisingly, 50.4.
好吧 Right.
Hammond Hammond...
46.3秒 46.3.
所以你是最快的，恭喜你贺喜你。谢谢 So you were the fastest, and I congratulate you. Thank you.
不过事实是这样，我们都比the Stig慢，所以我们都比他快 But the point is, we were all slower than the Stig, and yet we weren't.
嗯，等会儿。你怎么得出这个结论的？ Mm-hm. Hang on. How do you make that out?
时间在80年代会变得更慢 Time moved more slowly in the '80s.
因为你30岁的时候，一年是30分之一的人生 Because when you're 30, a year is a 30th of your life.
当你50岁，是你50分之一的人生 When you're 50, it's a 50th of your life.
等到Hammond缓过神来 ‘By the time Hammond had got this one worked out...
天已经都黑了 '..darkness had fallen.'
所以我们都学到了啥捏？ So what have we learned? Well, obviously we've learned
我们的车比现在的同等车型要便宜许多 that our cars are much cheaper than their modern-day equivalent,
实际上也快得多 and in real terms faster.
不过我们都承认这些车有些……破败了 But I think we'd all agree that they are looking a little bit...tired.
所以我们决定把他们好好梳洗打扮一番 So we decided to spruce them up at the top-secret
在Top Gear绝密的古董收藏中心 Top Gear Antique Restoration Centre,
位于A451公路，刚好在基德明斯特的外面 on the A451, just outside Kidderminster.
在这里，车辆被包裹一层可以自动附着的材料 Here, cars are wrapped in a special self-adhesive material
来给他们一种刚刚出厂的崭新外貌 to give them a brand-new factory-fresh look.
如果你花钱雇人给你的车重新喷漆 If you pay somebody else to respray your car...
5000英镑，10000英镑都不止 ￡5,000,￡10,000. Easily.
这个，不到1000英镑就能搞定 This is less than 1,000.
你看，把它贴在正确的地方，这就够了 You know, pull the right bit off there, job done.
随着雷诺的完工，我们决定自己动手搞起 With the Renault done, we decided to do our cars ourselves.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
好叻，我们一会儿就会看到到底做得怎么样 OK, well... We'll see how we get on with that later on.
不过现在，是新闻时间了 But now, it's time to do the news.
最近，宝马出了一款三缸混动车 Now, BMW has made a three-cylinder hybrid.
你想不想看看照片？ 额，不，不想 Would you like to see a photograph? Well, no, not really, no.
你这就坏了你的好运，请往这边看 Well, that's a rotten bit of luck cos here it is.
-哇，是这个？-没错，三缸混动车，就是他了 Wow, is that it? Yeah, three-cylinder hybrid, right there.
它看起来真的不错 It looks quite good.
它是不是稍微有点像老款M1？ 还记得么他们早先推出的那款跑车？ Is it vaguely reminiscent of the old M1? Remember the supercar they did?
让我告诉你这到底是什么，这就是未来。 What it is, I'll tell you exactly what it is, that is the future.
这真心就是 It really genuinely is.
它轻量化的构造，汽油发动机 It's lightweight construction, petrol engine,
和一台电动马达串联 working in tandem with an electric motor.
我知道可能听起来会很无聊不过好好想想 I know that sounds dreary, but think about it,
这可是和迈凯轮P1是同一个配方 it's the exact same recipe you get in a McLaren P1,
而那款车一点都不无聊 and that is not dreary at all.
-不，而且你已经开过哪辆车了，下周会播出的。 -没错 No, and more to the point, you've driven it, it's on the show next week. Yes.
那赶紧的，给我们点提示，那款车怎么样 Well, Come on, give us a hint, what's it like?
那辆车真的是不可思议，速度简直难以置信 It is genuinely unbelievable. The speed simply is mind-blowing.
有多快？超出…… How fast? Beyond...
你的身心根本无法跟上那辆P1的实际速度 You can't keep up with just how fast it goes, that P1,
而且正是因为P1 and because of the P1,
意味着正常人也可以买一辆混动车 it means normal people can now drive a hybrid.
而不必穿着代表无核化与和平的凉鞋了 You don't have to wear nuclear-free peace sandals,
你可以像正常人一样并且买一辆混动车 you can be like normal people here and have a hybrid.
正因为如此我认为它会变得很棒 That's why I think that is going to be brilliant.
事实是，这辆车开起来像911，售价差不多 The thing is, it will go like a 911, cost about the same,
不过你不必成为一个XX才能开911 but you don't have to be a moron to drive one.
-你怎么这么孩儿气 -就像James和Richard这两口子都有911 Child! You child! Like James and Richard both have 911s.
-别逗了 -回到正题上好么？ Really? We're back at work, aren't we?
我们果然又回来了，没错 We are back in the playground, yeah.
我想谈谈我很遗憾错过的事情 I'd like to talk about things I'm sorry I missed
当我们的节目不在播出的时候 while we've been off air.
一项针对向往车窗外扔垃圾的乘客 Plans are being drawn up, right, to fine the owner of a car,
所坐车辆的车主罚款的规定已经酝酿成型 if a passenger throws litter out of the window.
对他罚款？车主…… Fine him? The owner...
-哦，把它扔给猎狗好叻 -额，别…… Oh, throw him to the dogs. Well, no...
用金正恩的高科技（把姑父扔进狗笼？）对付扔垃圾的人 Use the Kim Jong-un technique on people who litter.
我知道你的意思，因为随便扔垃圾是最多的道德犯罪 No, I know what you mean, cos littering is the most moronic crime.
这是相当可悲的。不过幸好现在可以为这件事找个借口 It's pitiful, however, thanks to this there is now an excuse for it.
-为乱丢垃圾找借口？是什么？ -没错 An excuse for littering? Yeah. What?
-好好想想，James，哥们…… -什么？ Think about it, James, mate... Yes?
我今天晚上可以搭你的顺风车回家么？ ..can I have a lift home tonight in your car?
JEREMY LAUGHS
只有我，还有，类似于我最喜欢的装满薯片包装的袋子 （我好想翻译错了因为本人没找到笑点- -） Just me and, like, my favourite bin bag full of empty crisp packets.
我曾经骑着我的小摩托经过一列停着的车辆 I was once riding my motorcycle past a line of stationary cars
然后我被从车窗扔出来的半份熟食砸到了脸…… and I was hit in the face by half a ready meal that had been thrown out of a window...
-我的意思是饭菜还是热的 -那是我扔的 I mean, still hot. That was me!
-是么 -没错，不过那玩意儿热乎乎的不是熟食！ Was it? Yeah, and it wasn't a ready meal!
别啊 No.
那是一块成人尿不湿！ It was an adult nappy!
无论如何，我们上周进行了一级方程式测试 Anyway, we've had the Formula One testing all last week,
我也确定你们都清楚 as I'm sure you know.
今年测试很重要，因为有很多的新规定 Important this year, the testing, cos there's so many new rules.
所有的车辆必须要用1.6升引擎，狭窄的尾翼 The cars have to have 1.6 litre engines, narrower wings
前段还要带有成人玩具 and sex aids on the front.
-别傻了，车头不用放…… -他们用！ Don't be stupid, they don't have to... They do!
我们来看看这两Caterham吧 Hello? Have a look at this at Caterham.
这就是车头放了一个性爱玩具！ 哦不，他们为什么…… That's a sex aid on the front! Oh, no! What are they...?
我们有一张红牛二队赛车的特写 We've got a close-up on the Toro Rosso.
-我的老天！ -你不想被这辆车爆菊没错吧？ Oh, God! You wouldn't want to be rear-ended by that, would you?
因为你好好想想，你进了车 Cos if you think of it, you get in the car,
把自己捆起来，然后还有拿东西 strap yourself in and there it is.
这基本上就是个“女优穿上假阳具” （我网上百度strap-on可是长见识了） It is a strap-on, basically.
一级“绑”程式 Formula "strap" One!
一级“绑”程式，就它了 Formula "strap" One is what it is!
大家来设想这个情景，你在向终点开去 Right, here's a scenario. You're racing towards the finish line,
齐头并进，你想率先撞线 neck and neck, you want to cross the line first.
你要是能“伸长”那么一点，那就好了 It's good if you could extend the front a bit... Yeah.
而且如果你，我不知道怎么说， ..and maybe if you were, I don't know, let's say,
对于“伸长”前段那部分有困难 having trouble extending the bit at the front,
他们应该在方向盘设计一个蓝色的三角按键 你可以轻轻一按（不理解的请百度伟哥的工作原理） they could have a little blue triangular button on the steering wheel that you could press.
V（Viagra，伟哥） Power！没有错！ V Power! Yes!
太对了，作用时间一到一个半小时，轻松变长 There it is! For about an hour and a half...it's longer!
我就是随便说说而已 I'm just saying.
这些事情你在Autosport杂志可是找不到的 You don't get coverage like that in Autosport magazine. Oh, yeah.
现在，你是不是总是赶不上高尔夫比赛？ Now, are you always late for your game of golf?
你是否已经厌倦了最后一个到达露营帐篷？好消息来了！ Are you sick of being the last to the lodge? Well, it's good news!
另外一款Dacia出来了？ Is it another Dacia?
不是Dacia…… It's not a Dacia...
这是一款全新450马力的雷克萨斯，叫做RCF There is a new 450-brake horsepower Lexus called the RCF.
这就是了，有什么想法么？ Here it is, what do you think?
我真不想说这个，不过James，我挺喜欢这车的。 I hate to have to say this, James, but I actually quite like it.
我很欣慰，因为我也挺喜欢的 I'm glad, cos I quite like it as well.
我的老天，我要从你们俩那里接高尔夫球了额！ （不知道怎么翻译这句话） Oh, God, I'm going to catch golf from you two! Ugh!
我下周要这样进演播室，等会儿啊 I'm going to turn up next week like that. Hang on a minute, though.
这是你喜欢的第二辆雷克萨斯了，你就是个雷克萨斯粉 This is the second Lexus you've liked. It is, you're a Lexus fan.
来吧宝贝儿 There you go.
然后我就要去京剧当一名警官 And then, I'm going to join the police as a constable
在一周之内升到总督察的职位 and become a chief inspector within a week
与此同时我的裤腿是卷起来的还能得到一辆那样的车 with me trouser leg rolled up and one of those.
哦原来你说的是石匠，我以为是那个东西- - （八十年代基佬男会卷起裤腿以表示性取向） Oh, it was the Masons! I thought that was a sexual thing!
喔，让我告诉你之前开的什么车 Ooh, I tell you what I was driving the other day,
新款奔驰S级现在已经可以购买 the new Mercedes S-Class which is available
有一个相机在车前方 with a thermal imaging camera, OK,
可以从车前方传来图像显示在仪表盘上 which sends a feed from the front of the car onto the dashboard,
然后你就能看到黑夜中 so you can see what's ahead at night,
在你的车辆头灯前面都有什么。我们有一小段片段 beyond the range of your headlights. We've got some footage of it here.
当你在正常驾驶的时候 So as you're driving along,
摄像机能捕捉到动物，在这里 the camera can see animals, there you go,
然后它会把动物或者人类标记为红色 and it picks them out in red, or people.
就在那里有只动物，看见了么？ As it's going along there is an animal, you see?
-这真是太高端了！ -这只是一个小手段，你不能真正只靠这功能开车吧？ That's clever. A bit of a gimmick, though, isn't it? You wouldn't rely on it.
James你说的没错。不过当我开着这辆有这功能的S级 You say that, James, but I was coming back to my flat in London
回我伦敦的公寓的时候天色已经挺晚了 the other night, it was quite late, in the S-Class with that turned on.
就在我开着的时候，摄像机在灌木丛捕捉到了一个红色的盒子 As I was going up, it picked out a red box in some bushes,
就在我房子的门外 just outside my front door.
我边开边想 I drove up, I thought,
现在这个时间这他娘的到底是什么玩意儿？ "What on earth is that at this time of the morning?"
我直接开过去，大灯照亮哪里才发现居然是狗仔队 Drove up, when the headlines got there, paparazzi photographer.
-所以这车能看见暗处的狗仔队？ -没错，不过这车有一个问题 So it can find paps hiding in the dark? Yeah, but there's a problem.
因为当我想要一脚油撞过去的时候…… Because when I tried to run him down...
当你接近他们，自动刹车系统会把车停下来 As you get near, it automatically applies the brakes.
你明明瞄准了他们还不能撞过去，这有什么用？ What's the point of targeting somebody, if you can't hit them?
奔驰还没想明白这事儿呢 They haven't thought that through.
梅赛德斯，回你们的设计室好好反思下这个问题吧 Back to the drawing board with that, please, Mercedes.
现在，当我们停播时最重要的新闻 Now, obviously the biggest news while we were off air
就是迈克尔舒马赫所遭遇的悲剧了 was the tragic accident that Michael Schumacher had.
我不知道他的家人是不是在收看，不过我坚信 I don't know if any of his family are watching, but I'm sure everybody
这里的每个人都会与我们一起祝愿他尽早康复 here would join with us to wish him a full and speedy recovery.
一点也没错 Absolutely.
哥们，早点好起来 Come on, old fella, pull through. Yeah.
现在 Now...
今天晚上我们将像我们年轻的制片人证明 Tonight we are attempting to prove to our teenage producers that the
我们年轻那时的小钢炮比现在的要好得多 hot hatches of our youth were better than the hot hatches of today.
没错，所以我们来到了Top Gear修复技术中心 Yes, and when we left the action we were at the Top Gear Restoration
我们将在这里，对我们的车做些简单的包装 Technical Centre, where we decided to wrap our cars ourselves.
由于Hammond的车是最小的，他最先完成工作 Because Hammond's car was the smallest, he finished first.
看咱的劳动成果，城市迷彩色 The results of my labours. Urban camo.
或者叫北极城市迷彩色 Or it might be Arctic urban camo.
没错，可能是有一两处粗制滥造 Yeah, there's a rough edge here and there, but for a first attempt
不过对于这第一次尝试也就算不错了…… I think it's pretty crisp...
-看咱的杰作！ -啥玩儿？ Behold the genius! What?
早上好，你这…… Hello. Mate, it's...
HAMMOND LAUGHS
-我这大白天的都不敢看你的车，恶心死了！ -看咱这配色多上档次？ I haven't seen it in the light, it's terrible! How brilliant is this?
-你看我的贴膜是丝绒材质的 -为什你不开车出来而非得推出来？ What you're looking at here is velvet. Why didn't you DRIVE it out?
因为我怀疑James跟我开了个玩笑，把我钥匙藏起来了 Because I suspect James May, as a cruel joke, has hidden my keys.
额事实上，我感觉是你自己把要是弄没了 Actually, no. I suspect you've effectively hidden your keys
不信你看，你把它用贴膜盖上了 because I suspect that's them there, look.
你之前把它忘在车顶上了吧 You left them on the roof.
我这忽然想起来了，你这车是不是还有个天窗？ And while I'm here, isn't there a sunroof on this car?
-没错，确实有 -现在你根本打不开了，这门也是一样 Yes, here. Well, you can't open it, or this door.
-你看看你这车门…… -瞎掰，咱这是防盗车门 Or in fact, this door. Burglar-proof.
当Jeremy找回了他的钥匙，James粗线鸟 As Jeremy retrieved his keys, James appeared.
-他根本不明白什么叫“包装”是不是？ -一点也没错 He hasn't got the idea of wrapping, has he? No.
看看你这一年一季的贴纸 Come on! It's a bit annual, mate.
没错你这季节性太单一了 That's exactly it. It's seasonal. It is unequivocal, is what it is.
如果你把你的车停在路边 If you park that by the side of the road,
然后你问别人“你觉得这车是什么情况” and say to anyone, "What's happened to that car?"
别人会告诉你“不就是贴了层膜么” and they will say it, "Oh, it's been wrapped."
等一下，短信来了 Hang on, a text.
“亲爱的姥爷们”，不是吧，我谢你八辈祖宗 "Dear grandad..." Ooh! Really? Thank you.
由于80年代的小钢炮实在是容易被偷 "Because 1980s hot hatchbacks were so easy to steal,
它们通常被用来在家里庭院做手刹急停 "they were mostly used for doing handbrake turns on housing estates
或者去撞Woolworths的店面 "and ram raiding Woolworths.
-所以为了看看你们仨谁的小破车是最好的 -明明是高端小钢炮 "So, to see which one of your ridiculous cars..." Superb cars.
你们要去超市做个大扫除，比比谁的车更好 "..is best, you will have a game of Supermarket Sweep."
规则相当简单 The rules were simple.
制片人已经在超市货架中间搭建起一条赛道 The producers had laid out a course around the aisles of a supermarket
而我们则要看看那辆车在过道里最游刃有余 and we had to see which of our cars could get around it the fastest.
来吧，James，你先上 Right, James, you are going first.
提前告诉你们一声，如果你们撞倒了什么东西 Just so you know, there is a second added to your time for every
每造成一英镑的损失就要加上一秒的时间 ￡1 of damage that you do out there.
-明白了么？ -明白鸟 Right. OK? OK.
这就像重新回到了1980年一样 This is going to be like living in the 1980s.
ENGINE REVS
3,2,1，走起！ Three, two, one, go!
这多明显，我是三个人里面最聪明的啦 Obviously, I am the intelligent one here
而比赛的要点就是不能碰到任何东西而不是硬拼速度 and the point of this is to not hit anything, not to go around quickly.
它到目前为止还没撞到什么 He's neat. Isn't he?
如果不撞东西的话时间就能轻松省下来 A second is more easily saved by not breaking something
时间就能一秒一秒轻松省下来 than by driving into things.
又穿过一个障碍物…… Through the chicane...
小心点，什么都不要碰到 Missing that, missing that, missing everything.
-等会儿，他的后轮被什么卡住了…… -是午餐肉！ Oh, his wheel got jammed up with... Spam! Spam!
迅速转过这个弯…… Briskly around there...
撞线咯 And through to the finish.
-我做的怎么样？ -一分零二秒，不过James你撞到东西了 How did I do? One minute and two, but you did hit things, James.
计算过了被撞到的蛋奶糊 After the value of the smashed custard creams
和午餐肉的受损价值之后 and the splattered Spam had been totted up,
我在起点处准备就绪 I took my place on the start line.
CAR ALARM BLARES
太棒了 Good.
太爽了！3,2,1，走咯！ Yes! Three, two, one, go!
强有力的起步 That's a vigorous start.
上吧高尔夫！ Here we go!
来到了第一个弯角 And into the turn.
撞得好惨- - It's a bad crash! Oh, no!
我感觉他在那里应该是损失了几秒钟 That's a couple of seconds off there. Yeah, I'd say so.
所有东西都彻彻底底飞了…… Things have gone literally...
我装上了高端化妆品！ I've hit the luxury toiletries!
还有一些面包 And some bread.
好吧我刚装上了……额 Yes, I've just hit some... Oh.
哦不，我好想撞上了富硒茶饼干，到处都是 Oh, no! I've got Rich Tea biscuits, literally everywhere.
我了个X Oh, God above.
他这一圈可能用不了多少时间 Well, it is a quick time now, but it possibly won't be
不过加上他的这些罚时的话…… once we've added on... the destruction!
车又灰出去鸟~ I've gone again.
撞上了李子！ In the plums!
他到了终点前的直道 He's on the finishing straight.
然后……终于撞线了~ And...across the line!
计算Jeremy的总时长花了好长的时间 It took a very long time to work out Jeremy's score.
不过最后，终于到我了 But eventually, it was my go.
上吧 Let's do this.
你觉得他准备怎么开？是你的方式还是我的方式？ What do you think he's going to do? Your style, or my style?
如果他有一丁点理智的话，肯定是按我的套路来 Well, if he's got any sense he'll do mine,
不过他确实没有一丁点理智，因为他是Hammond but he hasn't got any sense cos he's Hammond, so...
上吧小Nova，跑起来吧 Go! Come on, little Nova, here we go.
我的天，这个弯拐大了…… Oh, dear. Oh, that's...
这拐的也太大了吧- - Gee, that was enormous!
ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SQUEAL
他到底在搞什么鬼？ What manner of thing did he do?
快躲起来！ Run away!
他来了 Here he comes.
撞线！ And across the line!
可以猜到，一分零四秒 Well, that's predictable. Oh, 1:04.
至此，超市挑战赛成功结束 That completed the supermarket challenge.
我们现在要做的就是把Hammond的车正过来 All we had to do now was help Hammond right his car.
……3……要不再来一次？ ..Three... Maybe another one?
快翻过去！ Come on!
ALL GRUNT
第二天一大早，我们出发去威尔士完成第二个挑战 The next morning, as we set off to Wales for our next challenge,
我们的队伍一点都不好了 all was not well in our convoy.
一包可可米不幸堵住了Hammond的Nova的油管线 A packet of Coco Pops had severed the fuel line in Hammond's Nova.
而且Jeremy的高尔夫的磕碰之一 And one of the many crashes had damaged Jeremy's Golf.
哦不，别啊，这转向简直…… Oh, God, no, this steering...
有点什么东西出了打错了。你看看！ There's something catastrophically wrong. Look at it!
我都不能……哦！同志们我可能得停一下了 I can't... Oh! Um, gentlemen, I may have to stop.
又过了几英里的路程 A couple of miles further on,
我发现了能让我做些修复工作的机场 I found an empty airfield where I could do some repairs.
好吧，有一些转向手感确实被昨天超市里面的 Yes, the handling characteristics were affected by a small accident
炖牛肉所破坏了 last night with some beef stew.
我撞到了轮子的底部然后它就陷进去了。 不过你可以轻松解决这个问题（用一个锤子就够） Oh, dear. I hit the bottom of the wheel and it's gone in. But you can solve it.
我看到了，大多数F1车队也是像你这么解决问题的 Yes, I've seen that done. Most F1 teams do something similar(!)
Hammond，你的车能正常工作了么？ Is your car working yet, Hammond?
我已经把一根新的油管放进去了，这会耗费一些时间 I've got to put a new fuel pipe on, it'll take me a second.
我还要联接螺旋夹然后就完事了 I've got one more jubilee clip to do and it'll be done.
什么？短信，肯定是制片人发来的 What? Text, which could mean it is from the producers.
哦，是超市大扫除的比赛结果。太棒了 Ah, the results of Supermarket Sweep are in. Oh, brilliant.
James，一分零五秒，撞倒价值三英镑的物品？ James - one minute and five seconds. Three quid's worth of damage?
那就要加上三秒钟 Three seconds added, three quid's worth of damaged produce.
Richard Richard. Yes?
两分十二秒，这是加上六十多英镑损失之后的时间 Two minutes and 12 seconds. That's 60-something quid's worth.
Jeremy Clarkson Jeremy Clarkson. Yes?
28分钟6秒 28 minutes and six seconds.
别逗了。你这已经快半小时了 Don't be stupid! Oh, you didn't quite make the half hour!
你真找乐，无论如何，由于八十年代我没有去撞门店 It's rubbish, anyway, because in the '80s I did not ram raid shops.
-我用我的车做了些比那更好玩的事情 -神马？ I had much better things to do with my cars. What?
-我不能跟你说。制片人在那里 -为什么 I can't tell you now. Why not? The producers.
-到底是什么啊？ -Hammond，我接下来要做的事情 What? What I'm going to do, Hammond, you can't do in front of
是不能被BBC负责健康安全的人看到的 BBC health and safety people.
最后，制片人去吃东西去了 Eventually the producers went to get something to eat
随着我们修好了车辆，我开始了我的演示 and with the cars mended, I began my demonstration.
来吧，这就是无人驾驶圈了 Right, this is called Lap Of Your Own Car.
我会爬出车窗到车顶上 I'm going to climb out of the window, over the roof,
穿过副驾驶席的窗户 through the passenger window
然后在车停下之前回到驾驶席 and back behind the wheel before the car stops.
-不过你是司机啊 -没有错 But you're the driver. Yes.
好吧，准备好了么？我现在要挂到空挡。走着 Right! Are we ready? I'm going to pop it into neutral. Here we go.
哦，我的天。我感觉乔治·迈克尔肯定会这么干的 Oh, my God. I think this is what George Michael was trying to do.
-稍微控制下方向 -有我呢，我的天，你这方向盘压根没用啊 Small steering input. I've got it. Oh, my God. It doesn't really steer.
-我出来鸟 -他从车里爬出去了 I'm out! He is out of the car.
我现在正在行驶车辆的车顶上 I'm actually on the roof of a moving vehicle.
-我正在完成我的一圈 -女士们先生们，他回来了 I am doing a lap now. Here he comes, ladies and gentlemen.
他进来了~ Here he is, coming in.
我跟你说，丝绒其实真的不错，你会得到更大的摩擦力 Tell you what, velvet's good, you get better traction.
RICHARD LAUGHS
真让人惊讶，你居然成功了！ Genuinely staggered. It worked! Yes!
这场胜利把我们带回儿时的记忆中 This success sent us on a journey down memory lane.
没错，两个盘子托着后轮，手刹拉起 Yeah! Two silver trays underneath the rear wheels, handbrake on,
世界上最好玩的游戏 the best game in the world.
音乐座椅，上吧 Musical chairs, let it begin.
没错，你拿好方向盘 Right, you're now steering.
-我现在在驾驶席！ -看好了你的头发！ I'm in the driver's seat! Your hair!
离我远点！ Get off!
你的菊花蹭到我的豆芽屌了！ Your bottom is touching my sausage!
May，快回去，走走走！ May, go back. Go, go, go!
THEY SCREAM
80年代真是太棒了 The '80s were brilliant.
就是好太多了，音乐也强太多了 They were better. Just much better. Music was better.
一切事物都比现在美好。没错 Everything was better. Oh, yeah.
之后俺们进行了一场直线加速赛 We then rounded off our Don't Try This At Home nostalgia trip
结束了“请勿在家尝试”的怀旧之旅 with a traditional drag race.
3,2,1，出发！ Three, two, one, go!
-强力高尔夫GTi！ -快跑啊Nova，快快快！ The mighty Golf GTi. Come on, Nova. Come on, come on!
不，他离我越来越远了！ No, he's getting away!
ENGINE GROANS
什么……哦！ What's... Oh!
一场完胜 A total victory.
Hammond这是怎么了？ What's happened to Hammond?
事实上，Hammond不怎么样 What had happened to Hammond was not good.
-还在这里 -可能这车不适应没有被人翻过来吧 Still there. Perhaps it's not used to being the right way up.
ENGINE STRUGGLES
还好，还好 It's fine. It's fine.
哦这还不错，挺好的 ENGINE GRINDS Oh, that's good as well. Fine.
你把你的Nova虐惨了，这车毁你手上了 You've knackered that. You've totalled your Nova.
没事哒 It's fine.
APPLAUSE
-Hammond，Hammond -干什么？ Hammond... No, what?! Hammond...
你愿不愿意告诉各位 Would you like to tell the ladies and gentlemen
你的Nova到底是怎么回事？ what happened to your Nova?
-它就这么爆缸了，嘣~ -是么？ It just blew up. Did it? Boom!
难道不是你本应该换三档却换成了一档？ Or did you change into first rather than third?
好吧，可能确实是那样的 Well, I did do that a bit. Exactly.
没关系，因为制片人对我们的怀旧之旅 Never mind that, because the producers are very cross with us
感到出离愤怒 about our little trip down memory lane.
他说这会导致所有的年轻人模范俺们 They say that it might make young people copy us.
我看不出原因，这不像他们模仿我们做的其他事，是吧？ I don't see why, it's not like they've ever copied anything else we do, is it?
不，你永远不会在理发店听到 “我能留James一样的长发么” No, you never hear kids in the barber's say, "Can I have hair like James May's?"
我们这些都是拍摄手法的问题 It was a montage of stuff
以至于在八十年代能被接受现在却不行了 that was acceptable in the '80s that isn't acceptable now.
-就像穿白色的袜子 -没错 Like wearing white socks. Exactly.
或者对女同事说“你今天看上去真不错” Or saying to a female co-worker, "You look nice today."
没错。你现在已经不能再做这些了 Exactly. You can't do that any more.
无论如何，我们要继续了，因为我想谈谈 Anyway, we must move on, because I want to talk about
在汽车界最有感召力的词之一 one of the most evocative words in motoring.
博纳维尔。前面加上“凯旋”，就是那款著名的摩托车 Bonneville. Team it with "Triumph", it's a legendary motorcycle.
前面加上“盐滩”，就成了追逐极速的圣地 Team it with "salt flats", it's a shrine to the pursuit of speed.
如果前面加上Hugh……那和前面两个就没什么关系了 （Hugh Bonneville，英国男演员） Team it with "Hugh" and it's... neither of those things.
不过今天驾驶廉价小车的嘉宾 But it is tonight's Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.
来自唐顿庄园，他最喜欢的电视剧，Hugh Bonneville！ From Downton Abbey, his favourite TV show, Hugh Bonneville!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
欢迎欢迎，热烈欢迎 Hello! How are you?
他来了！ He's here!
-请坐吧 -谢谢 He's here. Have a seat. Thank you.
Richard Hammond已经激动得不能自已了 Richard Hammond is beside himself with excitement.
唐顿庄园，他可是超级迷这剧 Downton, he's obsessed.
请允许我以你早起的生活和爱车谈起 I want to begin, if I may, talking about your early life, early cars.
把你令人敬畏的名字放在一边 Despite your legendary name, it doesn't seem like
一点都看不出来你是来自崇尚速度的家庭 you come from a family of speed freaks.
不，博纳维尔盐湖那个地方与我的血统无关 No, the Bonneville salt flats don't feature in my pedigree.
在我长大的过程中我家开的都是沃尔沃 We were a family of Volvos, when I was growing up.
最开始是一辆121，圆滚滚的造型，车牌号NUV665E Starting with a 121, a roundy shape, number plate NUV665E.
由于某些原因，我背得下来那个车牌号 For some reason, I can remember that number plate,
却不能记住自己现在的车牌号 but I can't remember my own now.
这真的很奇怪。我之前还和James说呢 That's a weird thing. I was talking to James about this the other day.
我们能记下来父辈的车牌号 We can remember the number plates of our fathers' cars.
JWY370J，还有那辆Cortina 1600E牌照是DW510H JWY370J, DW510H on the Cortina 1600E.
Volvo 124牌照是FYR495J FYR495J on the Volvo 124.
-所以你能记下来你所有父亲们的车牌号？ -没错，多悲剧 So you can remember all your dad's Volvos? Yeah, it's tragic, really.
这些都是1系列的沃尔沃，肯定是早起的产品吧 They were 1 Series Volvos, so very early ones.
关于那个牌照为NUV665E的第一辆沃尔沃还有件趣事 The weird thing about the first one, the NUV665E,
是我父亲后来后悔卖掉那辆车 was that my dad regretted selling it,
有一次他在布莱克希思住处附近的斑马线 and he was at a zebra crossing near where we lived in Blackheath
突然一眼扫到五年前卖掉的那辆车 and suddenly he spotted it about five years later
他拦住了那位车主然后说 and flagged down the driver and said,
如果你想卖车请卖给我，这是我这辈子最大的遗憾 "If ever you want to sell it, it was the biggest mistake of my life."
之后，这伙计和我们取得了联系 Later, the bloke got in touch
然后继续在我家服役了十年 and it was in the family for the next ten years.
谈到你的家庭，为什么你想要埋掉你的姐姐/妹妹 On the subject of family, why did you try to bury your sister
而且是在她还在健康的活着的时候？ when she was still perfectly healthy?
LAUGHTER
我真不敢相信你问我这问题，丢屎人了 I can't believe you've asked me that question. That's quite embarrassing.
好吧，她特别的烦人 Well, she'd been quite annoying.
我记得那时候我八岁她十六岁 I was about eight and she was 16, I think.
我向我妈妈抱怨 I complained to Mum,
然后她边做饭边说“没错，那她是够烦人的” and she was cooking supper and said, "Yes, that must be annoying."
我说“我要杀了她，不过在此之前我要先挖个坑” I said, "I'm going to kill her, but first I'm going to dig a grave."
然后她说“好吧，晚饭在半小时之后开始” And she said, "Yes, dear, dinner will be in half an hour."
我拿了把铲子开始挖坑 I got a shovel and I started digging,
我量了一下，6英尺长，大约那么宽 I measured it out, six foot long and that wide...
我挖了差不多三英尺深 I got about three inches
奇怪的是，《喜鹊》正在街上拍摄 and the weird thing was, Magpie were filming in our street.
他们正在做一起有关拾荒者的节目 They were doing a programme about rag-and-bone men.
我妈跑出去说“我家有一个旧的锡槽” My mum ran out to say, "We've got an old tin bath,"
然后他们说“那我们能不能去你家后院拍摄？” so they said, "Can we film coming round the back of the house?"
到了锡槽的位置，负责拍摄的人掉进了坑里面！ to where the tin bath was, and the cameraman fell in the grave!
我得赶紧加一句，我爱我的姐姐/妹妹 I hasten to add, I love my sister.
你就这么说吧，你可是要弄死她 Yeah! Tried to kill her.
有一次我姐姐/妹妹把大头针放在我的space hopper上 I once tried to kill my sister when she put a drawing pin
我差点要杀了她 through my space hopper.
-喔！ -这个老屁眼儿！ AUDIENCE: Ooh! Bitch!
Joanna你听到了，Grantham伯爵可是这么称呼你的 You heard that, Joanna. Lord Grantham just called you a bitch.
你是不是当初像调戏家里人一样调戏你的凯旋？ Did you have a flirtation with Triumphs as a family?
我一直都想要我姑姑的凯旋Stag I always coveted my aunt's Triumph Stag,
那辆车帅爆了，结果那个自私的老女人居然把车卖了 which was a beautiful car, and the selfish cow sold it
而没有直接免费过继给我 rather than give it to me for free.
-一辆Stag。Stag能装得下你。 -没错，一辆Stag A Stag. You'd suit a Stag. A Stag.
以我现在所了解到的 You don't actually drive a two-seater sports car
你现在不会也开着一辆双座跑车吧？ from what I understand?
不，我现在开的是一辆沃尔沃XC90。很棒的车 No, I don't. I currently have an XC90, a Volvo XC90. A fine car.
我十年前从一个朋友那里买的而且这几年状况非常好 I bought it off a friend ten years ago and it has served us very well.
不过我准备换一辆奥迪Q5 But going to go to an Audi Q5.
不至于这么让你犯困吧？ Is that really Snoozeville?
这就像放弃所有的食物 That's like forsaking all food
然后说“我要只靠着这些墙纸度日 and saying, "I'm going to live for the rest of my life
别的什么我都不用吃” "on nothing but wallpaper paste."
这太可怕了……Jeremy！干什么？ It's an appalling... Jeremy! What?
别跟他谈论车了 Stop talking to him about cars.
Hammond……你之前这时候总是在喝茶，从来没来过 Hammond... Never, you're always having a cup of tea.
干嘛？别跟他谈论车了。为什么？ What? Stop talking to him about cars. Why?
因为他演唐顿庄园啊！ Because he's from Downton Abbey.
他可是Grantham伯爵。我知道！他看着我呢！ He's Lord Grantham, over there. I know! He's looking at me!
快点问问他。问什么？问他Mary小姐要嫁给谁？ Ask him my question. What question? Who's Lady Mary going to marry?
什么？Mary小姐要嫁给谁？ Which one? Who is Lady Mary going to marry?
我也不清楚。抱歉Richard，我不知道 I have no idea. I'm sorry, Richard, I don't know.
不可能，他肯定知道，他可是Grantham伯爵 Of course he knows! He's Lord Grantham!
Hammond，他不是来谈论唐顿庄园的 Hammond, he's not here to talk about Downton,
你是来谈谈你的新电影的 you're here to talk about your new film.
没错。滚粗！滚到碗里去！拜拜！ Exactly. Go away! Back in your box! Go away!
好吧关于你的新电影《大寻宝家》，是什么主题的 Anyway, the new film, The Monuments Men, what is it about?
这是一个真实故事改编的关于二战时期的无名英雄的电影 It is based on the true story of these rather unsung heroes
的无名英雄的电影，他们是历史工作者和博物馆馆长 of the Second World War, who were art historians and museum curators
在诺曼底登陆日之后被大批派出 who were sent in after D-day, largely, to try and locate the art
去寻找德国纳粹偷偷带走的艺术品和宝藏 and treasures that the Nazis were spiriting away,
而且去说服敌人不要去轰炸那座教堂 and also to persuade the Allies not to blow up that particular church
因为里面有德国人 because there are Germans in it,
而且因为里面有我们珍贵的英国文化 because it does contain part of our culture.
这是真的么？没错这是一个真实的故事 Really? And that's a true story? It's based on a true story.
我们有一个片段。哦！我还没看过呢 We've got a clip. Ooh! I've not seen anything of it.
好叻，你可以看看自己在电视上的样子。走起~ Well, you can have a look at yourself on telly. Look, here we go.
这种电影才是我喜欢的类型 Looks like my sort of film. That is my sort of film.
乔治克鲁尼也导演了这部电影没错吧？ Now, George Clooney. He directed it as well, didn't he?
乔治导演了这部电影也出演其中，完成了制片还参与写剧本 George directed it, he stars in it, he produced it and he co-wrote it.
之前看你一直在做的事让我一直在疑惑 I've been wondering, looking at what you're doing at the moment,
你究竟是怎么适应于其中的 is how on earth you are fitting it in,
因为你也在做W1A吧 because you're also working on W1A.
没错，W1A是我另外一个节目叫2012剥离出来的子节目 Yes, W1A is a spin-off of a show I did called Twenty Twelve.
那个节目简直太棒了！非常感谢你。我真的非常喜欢 Which was fabulous. Thank you very much. I properly loved that.
那是一个有关筹备奥林匹克运动会的伪纪录片 It was a mockumentary about trying to organise the Olympics.
很明显，由于我的角色筹备奥林匹克而名声大噪 Obviously, my character made such a success of organising the Olympics,
所以现在我就是那种解决公司问题的人 I'm the go-to man to sort out corporate issues.
所以没有比BBC更好的地方可以去了。（不确定） So what better place than to go into the BBC?
当我听见这件事发生的时候 When I heard that this was happening,
我都可以看到所有你在拍摄的 and I can see all the location signs around the BBC buildings
路标指示牌，我就在想 where you are filming it, I was thinking,
你将要怎样虚构使得BBC的运营管理模式 how do you make fiction about BBC management
让其看起来比实际更加引人发笑？ funnier than what actually happens?
那个在摄政街的新建成的广播大楼 Broadcasting House, the new big building on Regent Street,
波特兰大街，即使你是一个BBC的员工除非接受 Portland Place, you're not allowed in there
半个小时有关如何运行那座建筑的健康安全教育课程 even if you're BBC staff unless you've been on a half-hour
否则的话你是不被允许在那里的 health and safety course on how to operate the building.
我接受了那门教育课程 I started the course.
一位拿着八张纸的文件的女士过来要跟我谈谈 A lady with an eight-page document arrived to talk me through it.
第一张是一个火警铃的照片，红色的警铃 Page one was a picture of a fire alarm, red fire alarm box.
上面说“这是一个警铃” It said, "This is a fire alarm."
第二页，一个绿色图片有一个男人像这样在跑 Page two, a graphic of a green sign with a man running like this
上面写着单词“出口”。“这是一个紧急出口” with the word "exit". "That's an emergency exit."
这时候，我干脆离开去拍电影了 At that point, I was taken off to do some filming.
我还没有……你根本没有完成那项课程？ I still haven't... You haven't completed the course?
没呢。我在那座楼周围还是得要有人护送才行 I still haven't. I still have to be escorted around Broadcasting House
以防止我会被某些楼内小装饰件搞晕 in case I'm confused by a light fitting!
或者其他的什么东西。这简直就是扯淡 Or something of that nature. It is stupid.
我已经等不及想看看有什么东西能好好讽刺一下它了 I'm longing to see something that satirises it,
不过再问一句，你进度怎么样了？你肯定是最忙的人了 but again, how are you doing it? You must be the world's busiest man.
或许你会完成一个很快的圈速 Presumably you drove very quickly around the lap,
所以你就能更快的开车回家了？ so you could get home more quickly?
不，我不是那么崇尚速度 No, I'm not a speed merchant.
在最开始的时候，the Stig带我跑了一圈 At the beginning, when The Stig took me around,
我坐在副驾位置真的特别害怕 I was really terrified, being in the passenger seat,
然后我想“我以后再也不玩这个了” and I thought, "I'll never be able to do this."
在最后，可能你们的员工和你说了 By the end, as your guys will tell you,
我根本不想从车里出来，我想再跑几圈 I refused to get out, I wanted to go again and again.
现场的筒子们谁想看看他的计时圈？ Who here would like to see the lap?
想~ AUDIENCE: Yes!
开始播放，我们来看看 Play the tape, let's have a look.
这就是我们的车，长休之后焕然一新 The car, fresh after its long rest.
宝贝儿快跑！ Come on, son!
看看我们的Astra，赛道已经湿透了 Look at the techline, streaming down.
太湿滑了，简直是瓢泼大雨，这天气在英国可不多见 That is wet, really is pouring down, and that's odd for England(!)
如果你在国外观看，记住英国基本没有这样天气 If you're watching abroad, it's never normally like that here.
白线在哪里？喔，在这儿呢 Where's the white line? Oh, there.
LAUGHTER
你们尽管笑吧，不过这种天气确实很难看到白线 You may laugh, but it is quite tricky to see the line
尤其是赛道如此湿滑的时候 when the track is soaking wet.
都成河了 It's really steamy.
嗯？ Hmm?
你在出发之前就应该解决好那些问题来着 You do need to get that sort of thing sorted out before you set off.
尽管你在方向盘后面已经基本看不到白线 Even though the lines are invisible from behind the wheel,
你还是做的不错，真心不错。 you've done a pretty good job. That's not bad.
喔！精准的预判！ Woohoo! Perfectly judged.
记住一会儿回去要买点牛奶 Must remember to get some milk.
你的注意力怎么比吉米莱科宁还分散 Worse than Kimi Raikkonen for not paying attention,
不过这个弯角不用担心 but no worries through there at all.
轮胎墙，很迅速的通过 Tyres, speedy, moving them about nicely.
哦，这可是真快！ Oh, that is quick!
你应该在路的另一侧不过没关系 On the wrong side of the road there, but never mind.
干得不错，而且你在倒数第二个弯角没有冲出去 It's nicely done,and you haven't gone off on the second to last corner.
Gambon，稍微有点转向不足。这车抓地力十足啊 Gambon, a bit of understeer. That car grips well.
然后就冲线鸟~ And there we are. Across the line!
APPLAUSE
现在，哈哈！ Now, ha-ha!
刚发现这是这辆车的第一个雨天计时圈 Just realised that's the first ever wet lap we've had in that car.
之前字啊也没有人用这辆车在雨天跑过了 Nobody else has driven around in the rain.
这点记住了，你觉得你能排在哪里？ Bearing that in mind, where do you think you've come?
我感觉吧……介于Ron Howard和Steven Tyler之间 Well, I suspect...between Ron Howard and Steven Tyler,
记住了这是雨天 bearing in mind it's wet.
你觉得你的成绩在1分50到1分51秒之间 Somewhere between 1.50 and 1.51 is what you think you've done.
好吧，你的成绩是 Well, you did it in...
1分50秒01 1.50.1.
这意味着你是第一位猜对自己成绩的嘉宾 Which means you're the first guest ever to guess correctly...
等会儿等会儿！ Wait, wait, wait!
你把Steven Tyler标记成…… 我居然标错了 You just put Steven Tyler... I'll cross it out, wrong.
我们这可是相当专业的汽车节目。这样就对了！ A very professional show. There, look, correct!
实话跟你说，The Stig说了 To be brutally honest with you, The Stig did say
你相当具有天赋 that you have a natural talent
而且如果地面是干燥的，你的成绩将会相当接近冠军 and if it had been dry you would have been very close to the top.
好吧，掌声鼓励下 Well, that's an accolade then. It is.
我会高兴的离开的。同志们，谢谢，Hugh Bonneville！ I'll go away happy, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much, Hugh Bonneville!
谢谢大家 Thank you.
CHEERING
好叻，今晚是小小子小闺女导演的Top Gear Right, tonight the boys and girls who produce Top Gear
他们打算证明我们那个年代的小钢炮 are on a mission to prove that the hot hatchbacks of our era
都是垃圾。没错而且事情进展对我来说并不顺利 were rubbish. Yeah. Things are not going well for me,
-因为我稍微弄坏了我的引擎…… -其实是毁了 cos I've slightly damaged the engine... Ruined.
LAUGHTER
-稍稍搞坏了我的Nova的引擎 -无所谓了 Slightly damaged. Whatever... Damaged the engine in my Nova and it's
-现在正在一辆拖车的后面 -尽管如此，我们却被告知 on the back of a tow truck. But despite this we had been told
在一个我们不知道怎么读出来的地方集合 to report to somewhere we couldn't pronounce...
在威尔士 in Wales.
穿越了塞文河口我们就到了预定地点 Having crossed the Severn Estuary we soon arrived at the location.
Trefniadaeth Seilwaith Amddiffyn Trefniadaeth Seilwaith Amddiffyn
Man Hyfforddi Caerwent. Man Hyfforddi Caerwent.
就在这庞大的，废弃的军事基地 And here on this huge, abandoned army base crisscrossed
纵横交错着三十多英里的废弃街道 with more than 30 miles of deserted roads,
我们接到了有关挑战的详细信息 we received the details of our challenge.
喂。为什么这次就是信封而不是短信？ Oh, hello. Why is it an envelope and not a text this time?
说得好。这里是威尔士——这儿没有信号 That's a good point. We're in Wales - no signal.
喔，说的没错，我们现在可算回到过去了 Ahh! Yeah! We're back to the old ways.
来吧，看看是怎么说的 Come on then, what is it?
由于80年代的小钢炮车主都是不负责任的 "Because the drivers of '80s hatchbacks were irresponsible
而且经常愚蠢地被50追赶着 "and stupid they were often chased by the 50."
额，James，他是说5-0，就像夏威夷5-0，是警察的意思 （5-0，俚语，意为Police） Er, James, it means the 5-0, as in Hawaii 5-0, it's the police.
好吧爱咋咋地。 Yeah, whatever. Well, anyway. The 50!
无论如何，你们将和Top Gear警察部门 Anyway... "You will now go head-to-head with
同场竞技。你们每个人都有机会 "the Top Gear Police Department. Each of you will take it in turns
驾驶自己的车同时另外两个人将会驾驶 "to drive your own car while the other two will use
选定的警用车辆试图拦截你 "a selection of police vehicles to try and stop you."
-这听起来还挺好的 -听切来确实不错 That sounds quite good. It does sound good.
这样吧，Hammond，你先上 Tell you what, Hammond, you go first.
额，好吧，我上就我上 Erm, good, yes.
我可能得等一会儿 I might need a minute.
当Hammond修理他的车的时候 While Hammond mended his car,
James和我备好了TGPD警用车辆 James and I broke out the TGPD pursuit vehicles
并且穿上了警用制服 and slipped into our police uniforms.
好叻Hammond，你准备好了么？ OK, Hammond, are you ready?
准备好了。这肯定是一场鏖战 3,2,1…… Yes, I am. This is going to be good. In 3, 2, 1...
开始数秒 start the clock.
ENGINE FAILS TO START
STARTS CREAKILY
俺们出发咯 We are off.
CREAKS AND GRINDS
好吧，我只是热热车先 Yep, it's just warming up.
走起 Here we go...
哈哈 Ha-ha!
先生，我的小胡子想跟你谈谈 Excuse me, sir, my moustache would like a word with you,
如果你自愿下车。你被捕了亲爱的 if you'd like to step out of the vehicle. You're nicked, sunshine.
-我做得怎么样？用了多长时间？ -八秒钟 What did I do? How long? Eight seconds.
你知道么，其实这车还有一个坏的地方 Do you know, another fault...
-和之前我修好的非常相似 -是么？是么？ Did it? Very similar. Did it?
那个坏的地方和我之前修好的地方症状差不多 （所以忽略了就没修） It manifested itself similarly to the last one that one I repaired.
-宝贝儿，你留着那些话和法官说吧…… -木有错！ Tell that to the judge... Yes...sunshine. Right.
Jeremy穿上了小混混的装扮 Jeremy then put on the yobbo outfit
然后钻进了丝绒高尔夫准备出发 and lined up his velvet Golf on the start line.
3,2,1，出发…… 3, 2, 1...begin...
COPS AND ROBBERS MUSIC
SIRENS WAIL
已经八秒钟了，我已经打败了Hammond And there we are, eight seconds. I've already beaten Hammond.
警官，他越跑越远了！ He's getting away, constable!
没错，看咱的吧！ Yes. Live with this...!
你看，我们现在已经能了解到 You see, what we're learning straight away is that
一辆现款的警用Astra居然不敌80年代的小钢炮 a modern police Astra is no match for a 1980s hot hatchback.
TYRES SQUEAL
而且这不仅仅是Astra的问题 And it wasn't just the Astras that were causing problems.
近期伦敦的数据表明 Recent figures say that in London
每天有12辆警车被撞毁 12 police cars are crashed every day.
究其原因就是警察们总是在高紧张度 And the reason is, it's because they are driving in high-energy
和相当困难的情况下开车而且还要受到胡子的影响 difficult situations while under the influence of the moustache.
又长了一根胡子×3 Got a moustache, got a moustache, got a moustache.
TYRES SQUEAL
哦他跟不住我了！ Oh, he's lost it!
他完全被他的面部装饰物分散了注意力 Totally distracted by his face decoration.
MUSIC: "Miami Vice Theme" by Jan Hammer
随着Astra无法拉近和高尔夫的距离 With the Astras unable to close the gap...
快跑啊！ Come on!
这场追逐始终在持续…… ..the chase went on...
依旧没完…… ..and on...
没了…… and on...
MUSIC CONTINUES
第二天一大早，天气变得非常“威尔士化” The next morning, the weather had become extremely Welsh.
不过，高尔夫依旧没有被抓到 But still, the Golf was uncaught.
先生，这压根不管用啊 This isn't working, sir.
我同意你说的，我觉得我们应该清楚 No, I agree, I think we're going to have to break out
Top Gear警用部门电磁执法车辆了 the Top Gear Police Department magnetron of justice.
如果说有什么能阻挡这个恶棍那就是它了 If anything could stop the miscreant, it was this.
一个巨大的吊车吊着七千瓦的电磁铁 A giant crane with a seven-kilowatt magnet suspended from its arm.
一台能吸起任何静止车辆的强力机器 A machine that could render any vehicle immobile in moments.
好吧，让我们抓住他 Right, let's go get him.
不久之后，陷阱搭建好了 Soon, the trap was set.
额，这什么东西？ Mmm, what's this...?
武装磁铁 Arming magnet.
MAGNET FIZZING
他来了…… Here he comes...
RICHARD CHUCKLES
这两个大傻X，他们不知道不能用磁铁 Blithering idiots. Do they not realise you can't use a magnet
去吸住丝绒么？ to pick up velvet?
只有最后一个办法了 There was only one thing for it -
放出TGPD遥控死神战车 unleash the TGPD remote-controlled car of death.
已经识别且锁定目标车辆 Target vehicle identified and located.
他们到底在干嘛？ Where the hell are they?
如果他们不追我这还怎么能叫警车追逐赛？ How can this be a police chase when they aren't chasing me any more?
目标已确认…… Target acquired...
BEEPING
长官，你可能需要捂住耳朵 Sir, you might want to put your fingers in your ears.
我不知道这俩小子在哪里或者策划着什么 I don't know where those two are or what they're plotting
反正对我也没有用 but it won't work.
BEEPING
这车就这么…… This car is simply...
不见了…… invincib...
警察先生，这爆炸比我想的稍微大了一点 Bigger than I was expecting, constable.
是的长官，你说的没错 Yes, sir, it was, sir.
结论就是，丝绒对于电磁铁完全免疫 So, it turns out that velvet is impervious to magnets,
不过对炸药却无能为力 but it IS pervious to dynamite.
没关系，我坚信James不会超过我 Nevertheless, I felt confident that James would not be able
14小时22分钟的逃脱时间 to beat my evasion time of 14 hours and 22 minutes.
3,2,1…… In...3, 2, 1...
开始计时 start the clock.
SIRENS WAIL
不过，当他起步之后我们就发现 However, as he set off it became clear he'd come up
他用了一个非同寻常的策略 with an unusual plan...
他在干嘛？ What is he doing?
观众朋友们，问题是这样的。当你们在看警车追逐视频 Now, the thing is, viewers, whenever you watch Police Camera Action
或者亲眼见证一场警车抓捕行动的时候 or see a real police chase, the person trying to get away is always
逃犯经常开得异常之快，不过这又有什么用？ going ludicrously fast, but, actually, what's the point?
你只会变得慌乱然后出车祸 You'd just panic and have an accident
然后就没有然后了 and that's the end of that,
不过如果你只用日常驾驶的速度 but if you just do normal speed,
他们也不能让你从车里出来是不是？ they still can't get you out of the car, can they?
为了证明他是错的 Keen to prove him wrong,
我启动了TGPD反恐怖主义行动 I initiated the TGPD anti-terrorism move.
切二档，7300！ Here we go.
顶住他，顶住他 Pushing, pushing.
逮住他了 Got him.
他就这么开走了！ He's just driven off!
随着时间流逝，我们试了很多办法 'As the hours crawled by, we tried many things.'
警察先生，快截住他！ Stop him, Constable!
你觉得这能有用？ How's that going to help?
我从引擎盖上摔下来了！ I've fallen off the bonnet!
我把门锁上看你们能怎么样？ What are you going to do if the doors are locked?
你根本不能把我从车里弄出去 You can't pull a man out of a car.
这是一场拘捕行动 This is an arrest.
幸好，数小时枯燥乏味的追捕行动之后 'Happily, though, after many hours of tedious pursuit...'
蛇行中，蛇行中…… Weaving, weaving...
-James最红还是犯了一个错误。 -坏了，这是个死胡同 '..James finally made a mistake.' Oh, crikey, this is a dead end.
太棒了，他的方向感让他下了地狱，啊哈 Yes, his sense of direction has let him down. A-ha!
冲过去 In we go, yes.
妈蛋！ Bollocks!
我们抓住他了！我们终于抓住他了！ We've got him! We finally have him.
我们没抓住他，他把门锁住了 We don't have him, he's closed my door.
他怎么又来这套 He's done it again.
再看看我，我把警车都毁了 And now look. I've damaged a police car.
这意味着我要被一些警察的文件工作拖延时间了 'This meant I was now delayed with police paperwork.'
我当时正在追捕一个屌丝 "I were in pursuit of a pleb...
男性（英国警察无线电通讯代码） "IC1, male.
他快速向我冲撞过来 "He did crash into me at speed."
我要抓住那个王八蛋 I'm going to get that bastard!
当Jeremy正在对他的状况做狡辩的时候 While Jeremy had been finessing his statement, I decided
我决定是时候用TGPD死亡之铲把May串起来了 it was time to skewer May with the TGPD prongs of doom.
SIREN BLARES
这是一款重型，机动性很好的工程挖掘机 It's a heavy, high-mobility engineer excavator,
由JCB为军队打造 built by JCB for the military.
车重13.5吨，不过搭载升直列六缸涡轮柴油引擎 It weighs 13.5 tonnes, but it's got a 6.7 litre straight-six turbo-diesel
最高时速可达到每小时63英里 and it can do 63mph.
James May，你完蛋了！ James May, you've had it!
无论你在哪里 Wherever you are.
James消失了，不过我们却有重新找到他的小玩意儿 'James had vanished. But we had just the thing to find him again.'
时机成熟了，我认为是时候放出Top Gear 警察部门的无人机侦查一番了 The time has come, I think, to deploy the Top Gear Police Department drone of intrusiveness.
带有军事规格前置侦查摄像机，它可以悄无声息找到James 'With its military-spec nose-mounted reconnaissance camera, it would track down May in a heartbeat.'
上吧 Here we go.
无人侦察机撞毁了 The drone of intrusiveness has crashed.
最后，我让无人侦察机成功起飞并开始搜查James的蛛丝马迹 'Eventually I got the drone airborne and begun the hunt for OJ May.'
等会儿啊 Wait a minute.
你个老XX You sneaky little...
James藏在一面废弃的仓库砖墙内侧 James was hiding in an abandoned garage bay,
不过如果他认为他在那里绝对安全 but if he thought he was safe there,
那他就大错特错了 he had another think coming.
大家看看吧，这是Top Gear警察部门 Welcome, everyone, to the Top Gear Police Department
毁灭吞噬者 eaty thing of devastation.
原本是设计用来清除深埋的地雷，不过在TGPD This was designed primarily for mine clearance, but in the TGPD,
我们还可以有不同的用法 we use it in a rather different way.
这是Hammond警察 There is Constable Hammond.
敌人在墙后面，并未意识到有什么在靠近他 The enemy, behind that wall, no idea what is coming.
铁链甩起来！ Engaging flails!
哟~哟~甩起来咯 Flails engaged!
我不认为应该让他操纵这玩意儿 I'm not sure he should be operating that thing.
DRILLING
没错大伙儿都看看吧 Yes, look at that!
他怎么不在…… He's not where...
哥们，他跑了！ What he isn't, sir, is there.
实时情况更新，还有三分钟的时间 Situation update: in three minutes' time,
我就会打败Jeremy的记录，而且是用合理的速度逃脱追捕 I will have beaten Jeremy's record on the run at a reasonable speed.
不过TGPD的玩具箱里还有存货 But the TGPD toy box wasn't empty yet.
喔，哈哈哈！ Whoa! Ha-ha-ha!
哎哟，看起来Hammond警官 Hello, it looks like Constable Hammond
已经掌握了坦克驾驶技能 has got the hang of tank driving.
我得先告诉你一件事，我硬了！ The first thing you need to know is, I have an erection!
James May，我要上了！！！ Coming at you, James May!
哦不，Top Gear警察部门的正义坦克就在我身后 Oh, no, the Top Gear PoliceDepartment tank of righteousness is right on my tail.
我该怎么办？ What am I going to do?
我知道了 I know.
太简单了 Easy.
好吧 Right!
稍微等一下 Oh, hang on a minute.
他停住了，他投降了！ He's stopped, he's given up!
LOUD EXPLOSION
伴着这个爆炸性新闻，让我们回到演播室 And on that bombshell... back to the studio.
APPLAUSE
多有趣，从刚才的影片也出现了一个重要的问题 It's interesting, an important question was raised in that film.
因为如果你有胡子，你该如何集中注意力 Because if you have a moustache, how do you concentrate
于其他事情而不是关注自己有那么一撮胡子？ on doing anything other than having a moustache?
没错，我感觉我本人就是那胡子的生命维持机 I know, I felt like I was the life-support machine for a moustache.
如果你是一个拆弹专家而你要拆除炸药 If you're a bomb disposal man, and you have to defuse a bomb,
然后你开始想“我有一撮胡子” you are thinking, "I have a moustache."
-尼格尔·曼塞尔是怎么赢的一级方程式大奖赛？ -就是啊！ How did Nigel Mansell win a Formula One world championship? I know!
这位先生你没有胡子 You don't have a moustache, sir,
不过让我告诉你有胡子是个什么感觉 but let me show you what it's like to have one.
-就是这样。你是干什么工作的？ -运输经理 It's like that. What do you do for a living? Transport manager.
如果你真长了胡子你就当不上经理了 You couldn't be a transport manager if I was doing that to you.
LAUGHTER
无论如何，我要继续了因为我收到了一条短信 Anyway, we must get on because I have received a text -
警车追逐赛的比赛结果 the results of the car evasion challenge.
Jeremy Clarkson，14小时22分。Richard Hammock…… Jeremy Clarkson, 14 hours 22 minutes. Richard Hammock...
又是自动更正？ Autocorrect again?
-没错。八秒钟 -谢谢 Yes. Eight seconds. Thank you.
James May，14小时21分钟 James May, 14 hours, 21 minutes.
-哇靠！ -没话说了吧 Oh, blast! There you are.
等以下，那么嘉年华赢了超市大扫除的比赛 Hang on, so the Fiesta won the supermarket sweep,
高尔夫赢了警车追逐赛 the Golf won the police chase
Nova赢了爬坡赛 and the Nova won the hill climb.
这说明我们三个每个人的车都是赢家，太巧了 That means that each of the cars is a winner. Precisely.
这就意味着老款小钢炮 Which means that the older hot hatchback
比现款的要更好 is better than the modern one.
这恰好证明了我们的观点是正确的。 随着这个猛料的爆出，是时候结束了 Which means we were right, and on that bombshell, it's time to end.
感谢各位观看，晚安！ Thank you very much for watching. Good night!
哥哥我要累死了- - 特别鸣谢CM的阿富汗籍英国小帅哥Sohail的大力支持 APPLAUSE